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when mother was ill

One day,Roger heard his mother sneezing and coughing while doing the housework. He knew that his mother was sick.So he put his mother to bed,he thought a good rest would make her feel better.

He thought he could help his mother to do the housework. He started by mopping the floor. Then he washd the dishes. Finally, he washed the toilets and did the laundry.The house was spick and span. Although he was exhausted, he felt very happy.

His mother recovered very soon. When she saw what he had done,she was very pleased and thanked Roger for his help. Roger was relieved because he need not to do the housework,he can play his favourite computer games at last.



1.while doing 改为while he was doing .

2. 此句So he put his mother to bed 不符合,可以改为So he left his mother in the bed.

3.这里He started by 的by 去掉。

4. Then he washd这里的washd是拼写错误,应该是washed.

本文切合题意,文笔流畅,是一篇优秀的习作。文中只是出现了一处小错误,可见小作者的基本功较为扎实。作为初一的学生,写作的素材有限。老师建议你多积累素材,在此文的基础上作适当的拓展,更能激发读者的阅读兴趣。希望小作者继续努力,写出更好的习作。

2 评论:

♥♥♥♥♥ Jennifer™® ♥♥♥♥♥ 说...

your blog is very fine

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谢谢!!

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